Patience is a practice, not a virtue.

A virtue is a behavior showing high moral standards. Patience, the act itself, is virtuous. But more importantly, it is a practice. A practice that takes consistent dedication. Like any habit or behavior, practice makes perfect.

Patience involves a lot of waiting. And waiting can be discouraging at times. Waiting can be synonymous with longing, with yearning, with the feeling that something is missing. Waiting is an affect of missing something, of not having. And time, it seems, has been convicted as the thief.

My friend gave me a book recently called The Moon Divas Guidebook. It serves as a workbook with exercises for women in transition. I read through it at night.

This book asked me to write down four fears and dissect them. I was told to find the root of each fear and see if the four were connected in someway. My four fears were Mortality, Settling, Imperfection and Not Knowing. Through my analysis I realized my four fears actually were sewn together with one common thread. Time. Losing it, wasting it, not having enough of it, not knowing what to do with it. 

I fear death because I’m afraid I’m going to lose my time. I fear settling because I fear I am going to waste my time. I fear imperfection because I fear I don’t have enough time. I fear not knowing because I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with my time. My biggest realization in this unpacking process was understanding that time is not mine to possess. I don’t have time to use. I live time. I am living in time and space and experiencing it.

It is easy to become possessive of time. As if it is ours alone to take advantage of, to hoard or to waste. But that just isn't the case. Time doesn't belong to any one of us. So no longer will I complain about not having enough time or wasting my time or biding my time. From now on I will embrace time for what it is. Limitless, expansive, universal. And with that much time, patience suddenly becomes and easy practice.